without the love - demi lovato
pretty wicked 2.0
sorry this is so late. I had a busier weekend than I thought I would have.
I always wondered why we needed a ceremony. Why couldn't they just give us our diplomas on the last day of school and be rid of us. Then we wouldn't have to sit in the overheated gym for hours, dressed in tacky polyester while listening to epic speeches about that next chapter in our lives.
I had already attended four Coldgrove High graduations. They haven't changed a bit. You would think that they would switch things up just a little, but no.
I turned around to get a glimpse at my cheering section. I probably had the biggest family here. All four sisters, their significant others, four nephews, my niece and of course my parents. My nephew Patrick saw me looking and started waving. I gave him a thumbs up and a wink before turning back around.
When it was finally time to get our diplomas I actually felt the nostalgia others do when graduating. I shook hands with the principal, thanking him for some reason, as I heard my name being screamed from the back of the room. I tried to see who it was but the lights were too bright and they were moving me along to let the next guy go.
After three long hours stuffed like sardines in a can we were finally released. We shuffled outside where we would greet our families and started descending on each other.
I did my fair share of hugging, acting emotional, as if this was the last time we would ever see each other.
I was talking with a few of the girls on the track team when my family found me. I was tackled by all four boys and had to be pulled out of their grip so my mother could get to me.
"My little girl, finally grown up," she cried as she held me in her surprisingly strong arms.
"God mom, do you have to do this here?" I asked as I tried to get away from her. No such luck.
"I just can't help it. The last of my babies is leaving me."
"Give the girl some space Fin, I think you're crushing her windpipe," my dad chimed in as my mother finally released me.
"Aww don't worry mom, you'll be able to gush over little Lynnie here in four years at Columbia," Kourtney joked. If she wasn't holding a baby I would have hit her.
Before my mom could get in another round of tears Katrina suggested we take some pictures before letting me find the rest of my friends.
Another twenty minutes of family bonding and I was finally free. We would be meeting up in an hour for dinner before I went to Con's party. I told them I wanted to say hi to my coaches before then so they said I could meet them at the restaurant.
I spotted Coach Bardem, super-strict softball nazi, in the crowd and was on my way to see her when I felt someone grab my wrist.
"Wait up Kales," I heard before I turned around to see who it was.
"Cole!" I said in surprise, before being pulled into his very familiar arms. "What are you doing here?"
"I couldn't miss my girl graduating," he smirked, tugging on a strand of my hair.
"Cole," I warned before he broke out into a smile.
"Just kidding. I know we've moved on. I just felt like seeing the old place again."
There was a small moment of awkward silence, we hadn't talked in almost a year, but Cole always knew how to break the tension.
"So, did you like my shout-out?" He asked as he shoved his hands into his pockets.
"That was you?"
"Yeah. I was sitting with some of the guys in the back and they talked me into doing it."
"Well it was very nice. It was cool to have someone remember me."
"I could never forget you Kales."
I was already a bit tipsy. And why shouldn't I be? It was an end of an era, or so everyone was saying.
I talked Cole into going to dinner with my family, where he was welcomed with open arms, before we headed over to the Novak house. We had only been here twenty minutes but that was enough for me.
"Same old Kalynn. You really can't hold your liquor, can you?" Cole teased as I ran into a coffee table, trying to make my way to the couch.
"Oh shut up. It's been awhile since Ive partied like this," I defended, although I'm pretty sure my words were a bit slurred.
"Well wait here and ill get you some water," he said as he eased me onto the couch.
"Screw that, I want the hard stuff," I told him, but he had already walked off.
Instead of waiting for Cole to return I decided to walk around a bit. Already my head was getting clearer and I wasn't just seeing shapes anymore, but actual people.
I wandered for a bit, greeting people I knew and reminiscing along with my classmates. A few people had a laugh at my current state of drunkenness. I just went along with it, not really caring about how people perceived me anymore. High school was over.
I ended up in the kitchen where I finally found some of my friends.
"Little Kalynn is drunk again," Wynn called out as she came over to give me a hug.
"I'm not that drunk," I defended as I pulled myself up onto a stool.
"The fact that you have to clarify whether your drunk or not proves that you are," Tabby said with a smile on her lips.
"And to think I actually missed you girls. No idea why though," I said dryly as I poured myself a drink.
"Because we're just so much fun to be around," Wynn answered before all three of us started laughing.
Our laughter must have been louder than we thought because before we knew it the door was swinging open before a small-ish girl stepped through it.
"Tally!" Tabby cheered before running over to hug the other girl.
"Are you three having your own little party in here? And if so, why wasn't I invited?"
"Don't worry, no party exclusions going on in here," Wynn said before catching Chantal up to our conversation.
We talked for awhile, Alex joining us sometime in the middle of it all, and it felt like nothing had happened between us. As if we had never experienced tragedy and nobody had left Coldgrove in favor of a 'simpler' life elsewhere.
Afterwards I was walking through the house, just minding my own business when I literally ran into a familiar mess of blonde hair.
She turned around to see who had hit her and we were both speechless. I just stared at her, not knowing what to say.
"Hey," she whispered, barely audible above the music around us.
"Hi," I said back, my arms wrapping themselves around my body self-consciously.
"I'm really, really sorry Kales," she said after a minute of awkward silence.
"Don't, Lex, it's over," I responded as I turned around and walked in the opposite direction.
I had no intention of running into Alexa Corbo ever again. She knew I blamed her for my relationship with Nate ending. She practically threw me into Cole's bed that night. She told Nate about everything I did involving Cole, from Ivy's funeral up to the Cape Cod trip. Everything I confided in her as a friend, and she used it to get to Nate.
I was walking on autopilot and before I knew it I was out by the pool, staring at the first boy I had ever loved, wondering just where we went wrong.
I walked up to him, slipping in right next to him. He noticed me abd wrapped his arm around my waist, almost second nature to us by now.
"Where did you get off to?" he asked me as we listened to Kennedy Richards retell his adventures of continued learning.
"Just around. Ran into a few of the girls," I replied, resting my head on his shoulder. "Do you think we could get out of here?"
"You want me to take you home?"
"Not really. I just don't feel like being here anymore," I told him, not getting into detail as to why.
"Sure thing, let me just say goodbye to the guys first. Meet me at the car?"
"Okay," I said, and before I knew what was happening he bent down and gave me a quick kiss on my forehead.
I left the party unannounced. I just made my way through the crowd of graduated seniors and excited juniors. I saw a few of my friends on my way out but I didn't stop to say goodbye.
They were all happy, finally finished with this chapter in our lives. Ready to start the next great adventure we call college. This was our last night of childhood. It was better to leave them to their fun, while I did what I apparently did best. I walked away.
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